Fast Month
Today marks a month with our little Shirley. It was a quick month, literally and figuratively. February 23rd to March 23rd is exactly 4 weeks. I know there are some people that calculate months in terms of weeks but I can't really make any sense of that. Children born in February on a non-leap year have a short first month (4wks) but after that it's simply back to however many days make up a calendar month. I know there are people out there that say pregnancy is ten months but just because it's 40wks doesn't make it ten months... The same logic would yield a 13 month calendar year... Seems more than a little fishy to me. Sorry for all this nonsense. It really has seemed to have gone by quickly for us. Hard to believe that we checked in 4wks ago with a cone-headed little Shirley. It has been such an amazing month! So many blessings, so much love. We have many people to thank.
Easy Days
I hope every day from here on out is as uneventful and enjoyable as the last few have been. We feel an awful lot like average parents. We didn't get much sleep the last couple of nights due to the simple fact that little Shirley needed a little attention. We aren't the "cry it out" type so we just took her cries as wonderful excuses to get up and soothe her back to sleep. She is a very cuddly little baby and we are very cuddly parents. It works out well! Now that we are in the step down unit there is much less supervision by nurses and the docs only come in periodically to look at Shirley. Brianna and I pretty much get to hold Shirley all day long, give her bottle feeds, change her diapers, and dote.
Pastime
I thought reading was going to be the pastime most associated with our stay here but it hasn't. This blog has certainly taken up much of my time and I'm very thankful for it. Also, Brianna and I go on three dates a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We are spending so much time together and we love it. Before Shirley was born we pretty much did everything together besides go to our separate places of work. For the last 4 weeks we haven't spent more than two or three hours apart and the vast majority of days we don't spend more than 5 minutes apart in a 24 hour period. Brianna and I truly are the best of friends and we rarely look for opportunities to "get some space." Lots of time is spent talking with Shirley, taking every opportunity to bond with this sweet girl. I must admit though that we have binged on rerun episodes of "Forensic Files" late at night while Brianna pumps. In the last few days I have been glued to the senate confirmation hearings for Judge Gorsuch! It obviously hasn't been all roses and butterflies though. There have been some very difficult days but they have been sandwiched between the best of days as well. We often reflect about being on cloud 9 while walking the hallways and hours later be in the "depths of despair" contemplating the unknown. As cliche as it may be, I wouldn't trade these days for anything.
Perspective
The perspective shift, for myself, has been very noticeable after Shirley's birth. I have always loved children and my mom may know best how much I have coveted the idea of family, marriage, and having children of my own. I used to love babysitting for friends from my previous church community and feel very fortunate to have had the trust of those wonderful couples! So many hours with those cute little babies just made me want my very own. It seems like a long time coming though, considering that in my early teens I often thought and hoped I would be a father by 20. I may have been nearly 10 years late according to my own schedule but it was worth the wait. I also may have scared more than one woman away because they thought I was too serious about getting married, Brianna included. I also used to have thoughts about what my children would be like and who they would become. When Brianna was 20wks pregnant, we found out about Shirley's condition as well as the possibility of her being born with a genetic disorder called, among a host of other names, 22Q. Shirley has been tested a couple of times for 22Q and each has been negative for the syndrome. Once during her pregnancy via Brianna's blood and the other after Shirley was born. The prenatal test is about 80% accurate and we thought about the results often. We welcomed the idea of Shirley with a genetic disorder but we were uncertain about how it would affect her life and, if I'm honest, how it would affect mine. The night Shirley was born though put all of that to rest and it wasn't because of some genetic screening result. It was very simply put to rest by Shirley herself and the love of a parent that, hitherto, I had never fully understood. While sitting in a recliner with Shirley in my arms I began to cry thinking about her and saying to myself, "I don't care what defects or disorders you may have, I just love you." Her second screening came back negative a few days later and there was no sigh of relief, just us saying, "ok, thanks" to the doctor reporting it. Shirley's full screen is still not complete and there are other possibilities as far as her genetics are concerned but they don't worry us. As we walk the halls of this hospital there are children with every kind of condition imaginable. Now, more than ever, I don't see them defined by their genetics or whatever it may be, I simply see beautiful children and their proud parents. I look forward to what else being a parent may change in me.
Last Thing
A wonderful woman contacted me about a week or so ago and said she had heard about Shirley through the American Heart Association (AHA) where she works. Her name is Kami Sutton and she too has CHD and has had upwards of 20 procedures here at SCH. Because of her fundraising efforts the CICU is named in her honor. We had actually heard about her after Shirley's surgery when our nurse was talking about caring for the woman whom the unit was named for. Shirley and Kami shared the same nurse nearly 14 years apart! To have Kami contact us a few days later was very special to us. Kami sent Shirley a few crocheted items made by volunteers of the AHA here in the Puget Sound and also a wonderfully crafted card with a hand written note. We continue to be in awe of the support we have received and the people who have encouraged us out of the kindness of their hearts. The card made our day, thanks Kami!
-Joseph
